September 22nd, 1320 

Well. So much for keeping up with this thing. Its been over a year since I have written anything. As I suspected since last time I paid attention to this 'dairy' (ugh, I hate calling it that. It sounds so cliche) nothing changed with my father and I or the family. So, as promised I left and went to live with Laelia and her parents. That did not go over so well. My father and I got in a huge fight before I left. Sigh. But, oh well. I'm here now. And I'm much happier. Laelia really is my best friend. She's always been there for me, and her family has to be the nicest people I've ever met. They've been nothing but kind to me, and treat me as though I was a second daughter to them. I love them a lot.

Things are starting to look up. I'm getting better at the bow. Laelia is as usual, inventing all sorts of new things and taking them apart. Constantly has her nose in a book. She is SO shy though...I am trying to help her with that, to make her feel more comfortable. She blushes when anyone talks to her and she has a hard time around people.

Well. I must go for now. I'm not going to make any promises to write anytime soon, since I seem to fail at following through with that.

-Bri

July 18th, 1319

Well. I had one of the most awkward conversations ever with my father today. It went something like, "Briallen, you see boys have different parts than girls.." I'll spare the rest of the details. I'm sure you get the idea. I sat there mortified and just nodded. He could have at least had my step mother, Isa talk to me! Sheesh. I don't like her but it would have at least been less awkward. Sigh.

May 25th, 1319 AE 

Well. So much for keeping up with this 'diary' thing. Three years have gone by and I haven't wrote a single thing since my last entry but I suppose I should try it again. Laelia and my aunt say it would be a good idea to write down my thoughts. So..here it goes. What's changed in the last three years..not a lot.

I'm still living with my father, though I don't know how much longer I can stand living here. Though at the same time, I dont know where I would go. My aunt and uncle have offered to let me stay with them, and I guess I should just take them up on their offer. I guess part of me hopes that things will get better, but I keep waiting and waiting. Waiting for my father to change, to notice me, something. Yet he doesn't. Claire is seven now, and the most spoiled child I have ever seen. He dotes on her all the time and always likes to point out how accomplished she is and how much of a good daughter she is. She likes to try to sneak into my room and steal my stuff or snoop around. SHE BETTER NOT BE READING THIS!

I recently had my 13th birthday. As usual, it was a quiet affair, though something odd did happen. After dinner when my step mom and Claire had gone to bed, my father came to my room. He sat down on my bed and gave me a hug. I just kind of sat there like an idiot, not sure what to do. Then he said something that caught me completely off guard. He said, "Briallen, I know it might seem like I don't care, but I do love you. And things will get better". I'm not sure how much I believe him, but..I'm willing to at least give him a chance. I think he just doesn't understand me or the way I am. I don't WANT to be a noble. I don't like it. I'm never going to be that girl that wears fancy clothes and faints at the sight of a seraph. I'd much rather be off practicing using a bow (SHH that's a secret. And Claire, you better not be reading this!) and having fun with boys in the woods.

Sigh. Well. I guess all I can do is try to hope that my father will hold his word. I'm giving it a year and then...I'll go stay with Laelia and her parents.

I guess that's it for now. I'll try to write in this thing more often..

-Bri

February 14th, 1316 AE 

Sigh. Where to even begin this entry. Mom has been gone for over a month now...everyone keeps saying that "I will be fine". I get lots of weird looks. My father has started making me take a lot of lessons, even with mom recently passing. I hate them so far. I try to get out of going to them by saying I don't feel well, but he usually doesn't buy it. He keeps acting like nothing happened and doesn't talk to me about mom.Other than saying "You'll be fine, Briallen". That's another thing! He always calls me Briallen even though he knows I dont like it and like to be called Bri. It's so stupid.

Today is also Valentines Day. My father made me and my stupid sister go to my aunt and uncles house for the night. At least my cousin's here. She's the same age as my sister, but she's not a brat. I like to play with her. Her name is Laelia. Her parents got me a stuffed quaggan toy for Valentines Day and some chocolates. I like my aunty and uncle a lot, they are nice people. My father didn't get me anything. But of course, Claire my little sister got a toy. And my step mother got a fancy necklace.

I feel like I don't belong in this family...my father is rich. He's noble and he owns this big company that does lots of trading and exporting. I feel like I'm just in the way and I'm a bother, and he doesn't do anything make me feel otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if he even loves me at all. Happy Valentines Day, Mom. I miss you...

-Bri

January 12th, 1316 AE

Written in somewhat shaky handwriting 

I can’t believe she is actually gone. She was fine just a week ago and now she’s..gone. The doctor said she was too sick to keep living, but I still think they could have done something for her. 

The ink is a bit smudged, showing a few tears stains 

My father came to get me from my aunt and uncle’s today. I will be living with him and his stupid wife and their daughter. She’s my half sister, but she’s a spoiled brat and she’s only 4. I hate it here already. My father keeps pretending he cares. But I know he really doesn’t. He never paid any attention to me when my mom was alive. It’s probably his fault she died anyways! 

The handwriting begins to get sloppier 

See, my mother was I guess what they call the ‘other woman’. He was promised to marry my step-mother. Then he met my mom and slept with her and got her pregnant. My mom wasn’t noble, so his family didn’t like it. And my father just up and left her. He didn’t even stick around to help her when I was born. But I guess he visited from time to time. He married his wife soon after leaving my mom. 

This is stupid..maybe I shouldn’t write all this down. Not like anyone will read it anyhow. 

-Bri